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Lisa O'Neill fiddles with her long, dangling earrings and raves: "There are far too many magpies in New Zealand."

The stylist and motivational speaker isn't talking about real birds, though. She gestures towards two women at a nearby table in a Wellington cafe, and says: "Look at them. They're head to toe in black. They're here for a birthday, one of them has brought a present, but they haven't got a spot of colour on.

"They haven't celebrated themselves at all!"

In her new book, Look Gorgeous, Be Happy: What a Woman Wants, the Levin-based mother of four offers fashion, health and wellbeing tips based on her entertaining styling workshops which have shaken up the wardrobes and attitudes of New Zealand women.

And she's close enough to women to know what she's talking about - last year, she addressed 18,000 females at everything from the Nurses Organisation conference to charity events, along with her Farmers-sponsored styling workshops (she's the department store's ambassador).

With her short cropped hair, and colourful, eclectic clothes on a size 14 frame, O'Neill's point of difference from other stylists is that she believes there are no set rules, while she's also screamingly hilarious to listen to.

Some of her insights seem spot on. In her book, she defines women as different birds - in my orange and purple paisley dress with black boots and tights beneath, I'm a "parrot", but most Kiwi women are magpies.

"A magpie wants to wear black, wants to hide her body, and likes to look ‘rich'," she writes.

"Black is the default setting for the magpie. They will either have a very minimal wardrobe or a huge one but will wear the same pieces over and over."

O'Neill is "usually" a parrot, defined as a woman who loves wearing colour, wants to express herself and likes to look "fun".

"I love excess," she screeches, laughing as she waves a sparkly bracelet and flashing a couple of rings. She's addicted to scarves, saying they add a flash of colour "and cover stains".

She admits she recently did a 21-day "black detox", refusing to wear anything black, including underwear.

"I looked like a Smurf for half of it," she laughs, "in blue pants and white tops, and orange and blue. Some women can't even put together an outfit without any black. But I give women permission to be a bit mad."

A former art director for Ezibuy before she ventured into fashion styling, O'Neill was raised by a "kiwi" - defined as women who dress in "earthy tones and want to blend in, look tidy".

"I was brought up to believe that it was wrong to be frivolous but I was put on this earth to do that and to tell other women about it," she says.

Other women are "doves", who dress classically, often in white, or "peacocks", who don textured, colourful clothes, and put time into matching their outfits. "They always look stunning but can sometimes try a little too hard.

"In general, New Zealand women are so minimal and practical. They want something they can feed the chickens in and milk the cows, then wear the same outfit out for dinner that night. Women say to me that they want to be warm and comfortable.

"I stood through a movie once because I couldn't sit down in my jeans. But I looked absolutely fabulous!

"When I ask why they've chosen something to wear, women will say because it was clean, or handy. We're unconscious about how we get dressed."

Accentuate your best bits, she says. Her eyes are her best feature, so she decorates them with eye shadow and mascara so they sparkle.

"I've trained myself to be a finder. I always look for a woman's best bit, and tell them to decorate it. Some people will have a s... face so they should buy gorgeous boots instead."

O'Neill writes about ageing gracefully and mutton dressed as lamb. "Don't go out showing your tits, with a backless dress, and a micro-mini. You can't afford to put everything in the window. Show off one thing really well, otherwise no-one knows where to look.

"If you show everything off it's like having a great painting in a busy frame. The alternative is to be mutton dressed as mutton!"

A big focus of the book - and of what O'Neill preaches - is self-love and happiness. Mothers, she says, don't care enough about themselves, and put their own needs at the bottom of the pile. "So many women don't feel noticed. They've been trained through life to be unnoticed.

"I get that women are busy, and you often you have to jump in the car and drop a kid to soccer. But I will turn up to soccer in red lipstick, wearing my pink and lime green paisley raincoat with a polka-dot lining.

"Style is what I do for work but happiness is my focus. Women often think they need a new tunic but they actually need to like themselves. I meet women through my job who have great bodies, pots of money and looks to die for but they're miserable. They need a shrink, not a dress."

LISA'S PEARLS OF WISDOM

Women's body types can be divided into two sorts - odds and evens.

If you are an "even" body type, then you will tend to put on weight everywhere. You body will be basically balanced, and if you eat whatever you like you will just become a bigger version of yourself, as if someone has enlarged you on a photocopier. Women with these body types find it hard to identify their gorgeous bits as they will generally rate everything about a six or seven out of 10. Everything is just OK, and they dream of having something that is an 11 out of 10!

If you are an "odd" body type, weight will usually head to one place and stay a while. Like tourists, your fat cells find their favourite spot and stay put. These bodies are usually out of balance. One part may stick out dramatically. The great part about being an odd bod is that you will have one body part that can stop traffic - hot legs, amazing boobs or a sensational butt. Your body is extreme terrain. Once you have taken a long, hard look at yourself and when you are in a particularly good mood, I want you to rate each of your body parts out of 10. Be nice. Pretend you're a friend.

BEING THE BEST YOU

You are not here to be right. You are not here to vacuum. You are here to learn and be the best you that you can be. You are everything that you need to be and you have all the answers that you need within you. Be kind, get dressed up. Be the grandest version of you. The brightest-coloured, best-presented, happiest person you can be. When you walk into a room you have two choices: you can be a light or a shadow. Light up rooms, smile often . . . How would you like your life to be in 12 months? Make a plan to GET there. Write it down.

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